Welcome to the Harbor Unitarian Universalist Congregation

I was not originally scheduled to preach this Sunday, but miscommunication resulted in a blank spot on the calendar. We did have another possibility, but I gave Andy Fink my February 27 slot, so it seemed a good idea to preach this Sunday in its place. And I was full of the information I received at the Heartland District Minister's conference I attended at the beginning of the week.

Every winter we gather at Pokagon State Park, which is just across the Indiana border. It is a lovely place, wooded and snow covered in February. There are trails one can walk, and from which one can spot tracks; deer, squirrels, rabbits, and other unidentified small animals. There are cross-country ski trails and a toboggan run. We stay in a comfortable lodge with adequate meeting rooms. And we gather with colleagues to share stories of our lives and ministries.

We also study. The topic this year was Finances, or Metafiscal Realities. Two presenters talked to us about personal and congregational finances, and Socially Responsible Investing. So, I was filled with ideas and stories about money and our relationships with it.

We need sufficient money to live comfortably, we need to save for a comfortable retirement, we want to be generous givers to the institutions and causes that embody our values, and we want to invest our savings to both grow our wealth and reflect those values.

I want to share part of what I learned with you today, concentrating on personal finance--Is Money the Meaning of Life? Let us discover the answer.

When you opened your Order of Service today, you found some questions for reflection titled Money and Spirituality. They were designed by the Rev. Marni Harmony for a workshop with her congregation. I offer them to you as a basis for reflection and self-questioning. I will explore some of them in today's sermon, as a model for how you might explore the topics.

The child comes to you, excited after the seeing the colorful T.V. advertisement. "Mom, mom," she says. "There's a new Barbie out. She's an astronaut Barbie, and she's wearing a silver suit! Mom, can I have her? She's really cool. Mom, I really NEED this Barbie. Let's go down to Toys 'r Us right now, I need this Barbie!"

It is not too difficult to smile at the child's enthusiasm, and explain gently that while she wants Astronaut Barbie very much, she doesn't really need her. Persuading her of the truth of this statement is another matter, and I leave it to you to do so. However, for a parent to see the difference between that want for an attractive toy and a real need is not difficult.

However, if the item in question is a lovely red sports car, and the person a 48 year old male; or if the item is a beautiful apricot cashmere sweater and the person a 35 year old female, the difference may be more difficult to discern. We need to be alert to that fine line between what we really need and what we want. We need sufficient healthy food to keep our bodies working at top efficiency. We don't need to obtain that food at a high-priced restaurant, or a fast-food drive-in. (And I would argue that healthy food is more difficult to find at the drive-in.) We don't need to derive our protein from steaks or roasts, or even (sigh) The Cheese Lady's wonderful stock of treats. We don't need out-of-season strawberries or tomatoes. We don't need imported wines or truffles. These are wants instead of needs.

This is not to say that we must always deny ourselves our wants. We just need to keep them in balance. We need to keep ourselves fed and clothed and warm and sheltered. Beyond that, a healthy relationship with money balances the wants that flood our senses with the reality that we also need to save for education costs, medical expenses and retirement. We need to keep our wants in perspective if we want a healthy relationship with money, a relationship that encourages a healthy spirit.

How much is enough? For each of us the answer will be slightly different. How many C.D's do you really need in your car?
How many rooms in your house are enough for you and your family and its activities? How big a car do you need? Do you really need a car?

I was listening to The Commonwealth Club on NPR a few weeks ago. I don't remember the speaker's name, but he was speaking on the current trials of those people involved in the corporation corruption scandals of a few years ago. He asked the audience, "How many of us actually have $1,000 shower curtains? Put up your hands. (A pause.) Oh, well I guess they are more common than I thought."

Few of us would question the need for a shower curtain, assuming we have a shower. The idea of one that costs $1,000 seems over the top for most of us. But apparently, for some people, a $25.00 shower curtain, or even a $250.00 shower curtain is not enough. I think that $1,000 shower curtains are a symbol of a life that is out of balance, a spirit that seeks meaning in things.

One of the questions Rev. Harmony asks is, "Do I possess my things or do they possess me?" My aunt used to collect teapots. She had a china cabinet filled with teapots, plus others on display on many surfaces throughout her home. Of course her kitchen contained several that were used as opposed to displayed. I was fascinated with them as a child, and she could always give the history of each one. When I grew up, I often wondered how much time that she spent dusting and cleaning those teapots. I think the teapots grew to possess her.

I think this is true of other collections. I think it is true of beautiful but impractical furnishings, such as white carpets or upholstery. I think it is true of demanding, hard to maintain automobiles. I remember Coyote's words when I see drivers of SUV's at the gas station. "Humans buy things to show that they have money left after they have everything they want." We need to be on guard against our possessions possessing us.

"What makes me angriest or most resentful?" asks Harmony. Does your rela-tionship with money sometimes make you angry or resentful? Do you regret buying that new book, even though it got a good review and everyone is talking about it? Do you resent your neighbor's new car? Do you get angry with a child who responds to a television ad just as its designers intended? Are you angry with the office-mate who got a raise, or the neighborhood grocer who hired his cousin instead of you or your teen-ager? Our economic system may justifiably elicit anger and resentment. Our spiritual challenge is to discern at whom that should be channeled, and to behave accordingly.

One big question for the relationship of money and spirituality is its effect on generosity. Do we spend money in a way that allows us to be generous? One recommendation is that we set aside 10% of our income to give away, that we save 10% of our income, and use the rest for our expenses. That means if your income were $30,000 you could save $3,000, give away $3,000 and live on the other $24,000. If your income were $65,000 you could give away $6,500, save $6,500 and live on $52,000.

Is this practical? It depends, of course on circumstances, including your number of dependents, medical expenses, and the area's cost of living. However, I ask you to keep the formula in mind--10% for giving, 10% for saving and 80% for living expenses.

The last item I wish to engage on Rev. Harmony's list is the question of Being or Having--and I want to spend some time on this, because I think it comes to the crux of the relationship of money and spirituality.

One of our presenters at the retreat was Fred Campbell, retired UU minister who lives in Lansing. He has spoken here a few times, and we have used his curricu-lum, The Four Faiths. When Fred retired, he also quit the ministry. Unlike many of his colleagues, who retire from parish ministry, but are "available" for weddings and memorial services, or do pulpit supply and consulting--Fred really quit. He talked about learning the difference between Being and Doing. He said retirees had to learn to "be", not "do." Our worth, he said, comes from being, not doing.

Let us substitute the word "have" for "do", and extend his thinking to all of us. Is our worth based on how large a car we drive, or is it based on our relationship to our family and friends? Is our sense of esteem based on an up-to-date wardrobe in the most fashionable colors, or on how we live and love and have our being?

The media, driven by advertising, wants us to believe that we need the right sneakers to get the esteem of our peers. It wants us to believe that driving a SUV allows us to experience transcendent moments of delight at the top of a cliff. It wants us to believe that a large house at a good address is necessary for us to be accepted as a good, worthy person. It wants to make its products status symbols that we think we need.

And it wants to sell us toys. Barbie doll advertisements are easy to see through. However, let us think about the adult toys that we acquire. The port city of Mus-kegon is filled with boats of all kinds. Only a small percentage of them are work-ing boats. I've been in the channel with everything from personal watercraft to 50-ft sailboats to 1000 ft. freighters. Then there are snowmobiles, radio-controlled model airplanes, and sports equipment of all sorts that fit the category of adult toys.

I am not saying all such "things" are bad. Sailing enriches my life considerably, and I feel refreshed and renewed after a day on the water. If these toys are used to enhance one's life, there is nothing wrong with them. However, it is not from "things" that we derive our worth. Because I spent a large part of my life sewing for recreation, I still get a chuckle out of the bumper sticker, "She who dies with the most fabric, wins." However, I recognize that it is bad theology.

It is using the fabric to create that enriches one's life. It is sailing, rather than possessing the sailboat that brings the possibility of a transcendent experience upon the water when the wind and waves and skill of the captain blend into becoming one with the lake. It is cross-country skiing on a sunny day in the winter woods that gives meaning to one's life, not the skis stored in the attic or garage. Experiencing such moments allows us to return to our family and friends renewed and refreshed.

Dick Gilbert, UU minister and my mentor, used to say, "To be is to be for others." I believe he is correct. A life lived only for the self is a lonely life. It is a selfish life. It is from relationships that we derive our meaning. Being fully present for our family and friends is necessary to develop healthy relationships. In today's economy it is necessary for parents to work, and in two-parent households, both often are employed. However, sometimes examining one's life and finding a frenetic schedule and little quality time together makes us re-think our priorities.

An interesting model for ministry and family life is present in one of Heartland's congregations. The church employs a team of three ministers. Originally all of them were at three quarter time, which allowed them to spend more time with their families. However, the family life of one is shifting, and she is now at one-fourth time, and scheduled for retirement. The other two are in negotiation, and looking for another minister willing to explore this kind of teamwork.

What would it mean for your family life if you only had to work 3/4 time? What would it mean if you had firm boundaries about what demands upon your time your job required? Would it give you more time with your family and friends? What things would you be willing to give up to have that time?

In addition to relationships with family and friends, giving priority to being instead of having allows us to be fully engaged with the world. We do not want to be dominated by the needs of the larger world, but we do want to be engaged with it. One way of measuring worth is by the impact we have on our segment of society. That is found in a more positive manner by volunteer activities than by shopping. A trip to the Muskegon County Museum to see the new Holocaust exhibit when it opens will have a more lasting impact on your spirit than a trip to the mall.

And to feed your spirit more deeply, set aside time for reflection and renewal. One can do so in many ways, by prayer and meditation, by gardening and walking, by sailing and skiing. We need to balance our lives between the reality that we need to earn money, and the reality that meaning often comes from other sources. Some of us are fortunate enough to earn our money through work that gives meaning to our lives, and I count myself among them. However, we must still set aside time for relationships outside of our work environment.

In addition to relationships with people, there are more abstract values that add meaning to our lives. Let us look at the words of our second hymn for inspiration. The first verse reads:

Winds be still. Storm clouds pass and silence come.
Peace grace this time with harmony.

Fly, bird of hope, and shine, light of love, and in
calm let all find tranquility.

When we find a balance between wants and needs, between overwork and job-lessness, our lives are far more likely to be harmonious. We will be far more likely to find tranquillity.

When our lives are balanced we are better able to see the bird of hope and the light of love shining. When I left for the minister's retreat I carried with me a problem concerning money in which I was immersed. Although I spent no time worrying about it when I was gone, when I returned I was able to see a way out. Rest and renewal, a tranquil interlude--all allowed me to offer at least a partial solution to the problem that brought hope to the parties involved.

The second verse reads:

Bird fly high. Lift our gaze toward distant view.
Help us to sense life's mystery.
Fly high and far, and lead us each to see how we
move through the winds of eternity.

When we are immersed in the day to day struggle for money, money to purchase needs and wants, it is difficult to "lift our gaze toward distant view." It is difficult to "sense life's mystery" while dashing from overwork to grab a few moments with one's family. I recommend that all present take time to gaze across the expanse of Lake Michigan regularly. I especially recommend sunsets. Life's mystery is ablaze each evening if we but take the time to look.

And the final verse of this lovely, meditative hymn has this to say:

Light shine in. Luminate our inward view.
Help us to see with clarity.
Shine bright and true so we may join our songs in new
sounds that become full symphony.

When we seek clarity, we can seldom find it amid the clamor and clanging of marketplace and television set. We need moments of quiet, moments of peace to find the vision that allows us to re-engage the world with a healthy spirit. Then we can join our songs with others to become a full symphony of action and engagement.

Our relationship with money determines whether we have the time and energy to refresh and renew our spirits. It determines whether we can grow generous hearts. If we are filled with fear that we do not have enough, that we cannot acquire enough, we may live crabbed and frightened lives. If we recognize that not all our wants need be filled, it gives us space to grow and develop our spiritual lives into the generous spirits we were designed to be. Let us be about growing our hearts and spirits.

Amen.
Blessed Be.
Shalom.
Saalat.