Mental illness is another one of life’s lessons that I postponed learning about until well into adulthood. Then, when I married John Kratochvil, I learned in a hurry. John’s family carries the gene for young-adult onset bi-polar disease.
His sister developed symptoms in her late-twenties. Married, and living on the West Coast, Margaret suffered through a divorce away from her family. Then she disappeared. John’s parents drove out to Washington, learned more about what had been happening in her life, and spent three weeks driving up and down the West Coast checking every mental hospital they could find. They finally located her and brought her back to Jefferson City, Missouri.
At that time researchers were just theorizing that mental illness, especially bi-polar disease, might be caused by chemical imbalances. Margaret was fortunate. Her illness could be controlled by doses of lithium. But it took years of experimentation before she received the proper treatment. Lithium is very powerful. Doses must be carefully controlled. Now, remarried to a fine man, Margaret lives a full life that includes church, work, and helping her 94-year-old mother remain independent.
One of the characteristics of lithium related bi-polar disease is that it is genetic. John’s oldest son also named John, developed symptoms in his late twenties. He was in the Air Force, stationed in England. He made a clumsy suicide attempt, slashing his throat with a broken beer bottle. Fortunately the Air Force Hospital was close, and he received the treatment he needed. After the doctors heard about his aunt’s experience, they quickly made the correct diagnosis. Out of the Air Force, and balanced on lithium treatments, John lives a happy and productive life.
His brother was not so fortunate. Andrew was John’s younger son and middle child. After John’s death, Andrew moved to Austin, Texas, away from all members of his family. There, in his mid-twenties, he was diagnosed with bi-polar disease. He resisted all efforts to convince him to move near any member of the family. He was a drummer and a photographer. One day he took his drums and camera to a pawnshop, and left with a gun. He drove out to a lovely lake and shot himself in the head.
The reality of mental illness is that it can affect any and all of us. It can strike the young and seemingly healthy, or in mid-life or as we age. It includes diseases we are learning to control and those beyond the reach of current knowledge. It is often The Unspoken Illness.
It is not okay to talk about mental illness. We share information about our heart disease and diabetes. We discuss our digestive systems. We compare cancer treatments. We even talk about sex frankly. But our society still turns away from discussions of mental illness, except in the abstract.
According the National Alliance of Mental Illness, or NAMI, “… serious and disabling conditions affect five to ten million adults (2.6 – 5.4%) and three to five million children ages five to seventeen (5 – 9%) in the United States.” (From the NAMI website) Most of us know someone who has a form of mental illness. Sometimes that person is a member of our family. Sometimes he or she is a loved friend. And sometimes the one who suffers is a member of our faith community.
NAMI literature informs us that:
Mental illnesses include such disorders as schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, major depressive disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic and other severe anxiety disorders, autism and pervasive developmental disorders, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, borderline personality disorder, and other severe and persistent mental illnesses that affect the brain. (Ibid.)
We most often meet and know people with depression or bi-polar disorders.
Such disorders make our loved ones less able to cope with the demands of life, and, “can profoundly disrupt a person's thinking, feeling, moods, (and) ability to relate to others.” (Ibid.) However, they are also treatable. With medication and/or counseling, most people can live full and happy lives. NAMI tells us that, “Most people with serious mental illness need medication to help control symptoms, but also rely on supportive counseling, self-help groups, assistance with housing, vocational rehabilitation, income assistance and other community services in order to achieve their highest level of recovery.” (Ibid.)
Mental illnesses are not selective. They do not concentrate on one socio-economic class, race or age. They do not select by religion. And, they “are not the result of personal weakness, lack of character, or poor upbringing.” (Ibid.)
Despite their prevalence and democratic tendencies, they still carry a stigma. A year ago, one of our members died suddenly. Chuck was far too young to leave his wife and children. Chuck suffered from mental illness, and was very open about it. He asked if he could help me put together a service on mental illness here at Harbor UU Congregation. I agreed, but he died before we could do so. He wanted to erase the stigma associated with mental illness, at least in his faith community and I agreed with him. This service is my payment of the debt I owe to Chuck.
Every Sunday we welcome all visitors and guests into our congregation. We tell people that the color of their skin, their age, their able-bodiness, their ethnicity does not matter. All are welcome. The status of one’s health does not matter either. If you walk with a limp, you are welcome. If you wear a neck brace, you are welcome. If your hair has fallen out, whether due to age or medical treatment, you are welcome. And you are welcome if you currently see the world through a glass darkly, or must take medication to prevent anxiety attacks or outbursts of anger. All are welcome to this Harbor.
All are welcome for all are worthy. Our Universalist ancestors believed that God loved every person, and that ultimately all would be reconciled with God. “All shall be saved,” was their motto. “God is Love,” they taught. And they cited chapter and verse from the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament to prove their point. We honor their heritage in our First Principle, “We affirm the inherent worth and dignity of every person.”
This rolls trippingly off the tongue when we read our Purposes and Principles. It is the basis for all those that follow. It calls us to radical inclusivity. We have an honorable history regarding Civil Rights. So most of us have no problem with including people of different colors or ethnicities. We are currently engaging in a series of discussions and studies we call the Welcoming Congregation Workshops.
When we complete the series we will vote on becoming a Welcoming Congregation, which means we name ourselves as open and affirming to gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. I have no doubt but that we shall vote affirmatively. We have white collar and blue collar and pink collar and no collar people here. Our age ranges from 1 to over 90.
I know that we have members and friends who live with mental illness. But I think they are less visible than some other folks. I pray that they too, will find that Harbor UU Congregation is a safe place to be who they are, a safe place to talk about the reality of their lives. All God’s children are worthy, and all are welcome in this Harbor.
Most of us know someone with depression. We tend to treat depression very lightly. We may say, on a bad day, “I’m really depressed today.” However, there is a big difference between having a bad day, feeling very sad because one is grieving, and clinical depression.
We all have bad days. Some of them are really bad, and we appropriately feel depressed in the evening. If you have a fender-bender, that qualifies as a bad day. If you are coming down with a cold, looking forward to two weeks of feeling bad, it is not exactly a cause for joy. These sorts of things bring on a temporary depression.
Situational depression goes deeper. The loss of a job, the death of a loved one, and long-term ill health can trigger situational depression. Feeling sad is appropriate at such times.
Most of us have experienced situational depression, or will do so in the future. Life is sometimes tough. When I endured three traumatic deaths within a decade, I struggled with depression for many years. Even now I know that a death anniversary or another major loss may trigger an episode of depression. And I never know how long it will last—sometimes it is measured in hours, and sometimes in months. While sadness is to be expected, if your depression becomes measured in months, it is time to contact a counselor to help you recover.
Situational depression can be debilitating, however it is not the same as Clinical Depression, which is described as being caused by a chemical deficiency in the brain. It can, however, be triggered by events in those people already predisposed to the syndrome. Clinical Depression is life-threatening, in the sense that people trapped in its gray landscape often feel that life is not worth living. It is the largest cause of suicide in our nation.
In any one year 9.9 million people suffer from depression in our nation. That is about 5% of the population. More people miss work because of depression than any other cause. (Ibid.) Depression is prevalent, it is serious, and it is treatable.
However, the problem with depression, bi-polar disease, and other mental illnesses is that the treatment takes what seems like a long time to take effect. In our instant-gratification society, we are used to quick changes. If we have an infection, we take an anti-biotic. They are often magic—relieving symptoms within 24 hours. In fact, the most difficult part of clearing up an infection is often to make sure that the patient takes all of the medicine. When we feel better, we forget to complete the course of medication.
Medications for mental illnesses don’t work so swiftly. The chemicals that are in short supply in the systems of patients are very powerful. Doctors must prescribe tiny doses, which build up over weeks. Not everyone with an illness like depression responds to the same chemical. Thus people who are already deeply depressed may spend weeks taking an inappropriate medicine before doctors know whether it will work. Then they must decide whether to increase the dosage or change the medication.
What this means to the person and their family is that these illnesses are not easily cured. The pain of clinical depression must be endured for a long time. The violent mood swings of bi-polar disease will affect the family for months before medication can alleviate them.
Our religion tells us that all are worthy, all are children of the same divinity. Science is increasingly telling us that we are, at our core, chemical reactors. We ingest chemicals in the form of food. They provide energy and scatter throughout our body to keep all our complex systems running smoothly and in balance. When we are unbalanced, we suffer illness. A deficiency of insulin causes diabetes. A deficiency of lithium can cause bi-polar disease. A deficiency of seratonin can cause depression.
Because we are so complex, because each human body varies from the others, curing these illnesses draws on both science and art. Doctors may understand that we need more seratonin, but the delivery system is not yet refined. And, because we are so complex, our life history helps shape our responses and affects our illnesses. Helping people with mental illnesses often requires both medicine and therapy.
Curing many illnesses is very difficult. For some we do not yet have the medicine or therapy that would effect a complete cure. However, healing and curing are two different things.
Curing an illness means that it and its effects are gone, no longer a threat, not part of our lives. Healing means that an illness has been accepted into our lives, its effects alleviated, and it does not keep us from experiencing joy and love and friendship. We learn to manage our illness. It may still be a part of our lives, and will continue to be, but it is not our identification.
I’m sure you can think of physical illnesses that can be healed, but not cured. Some of us suffer from diabetes, or have family members who do. Arthritis is another disease that can be managed, so that healing is present, even knowing that it will not be cured, and that its effects are permanent during our lifetimes.
Mental illness is similar. If a person suffers an episode of clinical depression, it is likely that they will find healing. The symptoms can be alleviated. Life will lose its gray fog and become bright once more. Supportive love will once again be recognized. However, those who suffer clinical depression once are likely to have another episode. They can be healed, but not cured.
Within these harboring walls we serve as a place to help those who suffer, heal. We offer love and support, shelter and respite. Although we differ in our conception of the Divine, we agree that it is loving, or at least benign. We welcomed Chuck into our community. I believe he found spiritual healing here, although a cure was not possible. Here, all who enter are nurtured.
And when healing comes, and the spirit is again strong, we encourage sailing forth into new waters. We have a loving, healing message to bring the world. Our mission calls upon us “to provide friendship to the lonely, comfort to the sick and distressed, assistance to the needy and fellowship to all.” To do this we reach out to others in our community, and welcome them into our congregation.
Let us continue building our loving faith community so that all who enter here find help and healing for their spirits.
May it be so.
Shalom and Saalat.
Blessed Be and Amen.